It's late. No...It's early. I should be sleeping or studying. I can't focus on either.

I want a big brain and a small waist. I want long hair and lean muscles. I want a pretty white bikini, a man's jacket, short flat boots, and a small purse with a long strap. I want a husband and a Ph.D. I want religion and comfort. I want tears and peace. I want to live a story. I want to be a poem. I want to be invisible, and I want to be illuminated like a princess. I am always afraid of dying, and sometimes afraid of death.